We are by-design creatures with a very specific developmental course. That is to say, that from the moment of conception onward, our physical bodies and mental faculties follow a fairly consistent and straightforward course of development that allows us to grow, mature, and learn along the way. But sometimes, life provides obstacles to development; obstacles that have a direct impact on the developing brain. Trauma of all sorts, ranging from in-utero exposure to substances all the way to abuse and neglect, can become a stumbling block to development, and in the process cause the human brain to hit the pause button.

Individuals who experience trauma during their developmental years, ages 0-5 especially, often experience delays in their cognitive development that can lead to behavioral issues, academic difficulties, and perhaps most importantly, trouble with connection and attachment. When the human brain experiences trauma, it triggers what we know as the fight, flight or freeze response that allows our bodies to move quickly, react fast, and potentially escape a dangerous situation. This part of our brain is hardwired and almost fully functional at birth, unlike our more complex areas of the brain that will continue to develop all the way to roughly age 25. So for children who experience trauma, especially repeated trauma, their brains become hardwired to respond in fight, flight or freeze. When this happens, the parent asking the child to clean their room or unload the dishwasher is met with a heightened response, a behavioral outburst, or an outright tantrum. The child's brain responds as though having perceived a threat in many instances where they are in fact safe. For any parent or family member, this can be an especially challenging ordeal.

But there is good news, there is much hope for the child or individual from trauma. The most important thing that any parent or family member can provide, is connection. Studies have shown that very simple acts such as safe touch (placing your hand on your child's shoulder or holding their hands gently) and gentle but direct eye contact can increase serotonin levels in the brain (this is a chemical that helps us to feel calm, at peace, content, and even safe). That means when I get down on my child's level, look them gently in the eyes, and place my hand on their shoulder, I am literally changing the chemistry of their brain. With repetition and consistency, this approach can create lasting and meaningful change in my child's brain. Along with other tools such as a consistent and predictable routine, proper hydration and nutrition, and lots of affirmation and positive support, the brain can heal, the child from the hard place can grow, and the family can experience peace and connection.

Dr. Karyn Purvis, author of The Connected Child, perhaps described it best when she stated, "knowledge breeds compassion". As a parent, a caregiver, a friend or a family member, when I can understand what is happening in the brain of my child or loved one, I am better able to be compassionate and provide true empathy as we navigate to the place of healing.