Finding Hope (Part 2)
The client stared at the floor in a thought provoking sort of way. One of the things I enjoyed most about this individual was their ability to truly examine their own thoughts, emotions and behaviors during our sessions in ways that allowed tremendous growth to take place over the two or so months we had met together. But here, in this moment, the client was clearly wrestling deep within their soul with something that was causing what we often call cognitive dissonance. Cognitive dissonance refers to the idea that our deeply held beliefs and even our thoughts struggle when they are not congruent with one another. Put another way, our brains do not like to hold competing thoughts or beliefs, and trying to do so often causes anxiety and stress. The dissonance we speak of here refers in part to the space between those thoughts or beliefs, the greater the dissonance the more likely it is to create anxiety. Here in this particular moment the client was presented with, what I assume was, cognitive dissonance over this idea of hope. Here they had resigned themselves to a belief that, based on past experiences, God was not real and at best if he were real he was uncaring, unjust, and potentially even evil. However in light of working through the counseling process the client was presented with a competing thought presented during our session; hope, it would appear, was either going to be found in them-self and in their own ability to continue to work through their mental and emotional health issues, or it could be found in the one whom they had rejected. To hold onto these competing beliefs would undoubtedly cause dissonance in the client in that moment, requiring a decision to be made. A.) Hold onto the belief that God is not real or potentially is but is evil, or B.) Take hold of the belief that hope was found in God alone.
Where we find hope is a question of deep importance. If I were to ask you, “where do you find hope?”, I wonder how you would answer. The truth is that many times in counseling sessions I ask clients similar questions and many people simply cannot answer that question. So, let me offer a suggestion for personal reflection. Imagine for a moment that you are having a bad day, maybe even a terrible day. The kind of day that doesn’t happen often but things seem to go wrong and you get that feeling in your gut that everything around you seems to be falling apart. In that moment, in that scenario, what do you do? Where do you turn to? Who do you go to? What things do you seek for comfort, solace, or even encouragement? What actions might you take and what steps would you make to remedy your current emotional status? The way you answer any and all of these questions will tell you where you place your hope and trust. Could it be perhaps your spouse that you go to first? Maybe, if we’re honest, a bottle of beer or a glass of wine is our go to response. Perhaps it is friends or family we seek encouragement from, or perhaps we simply try to bottle it up and numb ourselves with electronics. Whatever your answer may be, know and understand that whatever you turn to, that person, place or thing is where you are choosing to place your hope.
The client looked up after a few moments though looked to the right of me, avoiding eye contact. I could tell they were wrestling with that difficult moment of choice and decision, weighing the fear of returning to a God they swore off with the reality that some small part of them had always known that was the right answer all along. I had posed the question previously to the client as to whether or not they were comfortable with the idea of finding hope in their self rather than in God. The client thought for another moment before finally speaking and breaking the silence. “I guess I have to be.” “You feel like you have to be?” I postured back to the client empathically. The client responded without hesitation once more, “Yeah, I mean, I can’t, I won’t, go back to religion. So if that leaves me with having to do these mental gymnastics everyday and keep putting in the work, then I guess I have to be ok with that. I don’t see any other option here.” I paused here for a moment, letting the clients words sink in to both his heart and my own. “Well, the good news is you are not alone in this process. You have people who love you, friends who listen well, and you and I will continue to work through all of this for as long as it is helpful for you.” The client smiled just slightly which helped ease the tension they were undoubtedly feeling in that moment prior. I needed the client to understand and believe that regardless of their personal faith convictions, I was here to support, teach, encourage and listen well for as long as it took to help them reach the other side of the issues that were present.
I wish I could tell you that this client returned faithfully to a trusting faith in Christ, or was restored somehow to faith and belief in the Lord. I wish I could tell you that all counseling journeys end happily with peace and fulfillment, or that all people who come to seek guidance walk accordingly with the steps we lay out together. But the truth is rarely like a Hallmark movie, and often deep wounds require more than a few sessions to heal and reconcile. I met with this client a while longer and we continued to address the present issues that client was experiencing. All told they did find relief from their anxiety and did experience some level of peace from that. But the burning question I was left with was whether or not our time together was sufficient enough to help the client find hope in the one who created all things. It was in this wrestling within myself that I came to a vital conclusion about my own hope. While I would have keenly answered that I did in fact place my hope in Christ and in Christ alone, the truth is I had placed my hope in my own abilities to guide this client back towards a saving faith in Jesus Christ. So long as I did, I was haunted by the reality that I simply could not force or coerce anyone to a saving faith in Christ. Instead, this journey was as much for me as it was for the client, an opportunity to be reminded of the importance of hope. I too needed growth and redirection, to be reconciled back to God and reminded that my hope could only be placed in Christ.
So where do you place your hope? How did you answer the questions about who, what or where you turn in times of stress or fear? Whatever your answer is, that person, place or thing is where you are placing your hope. In doing so, you are asking that to be your own personal Jesus, your salvation, your savior, your redeemer, and your eternal future. So let us conclude with truth here in this message. Hebrews 11:1 teaches us that, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” If we place our hope and faith in people, places or things, we will undoubtedly be disappointed. If we, however, place our hope and faith in Jesus Christ, we will find peace and fulfillment such as we have never experienced. Romans 8:24-25 states, “For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is even is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But is we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.” May we, dear reader, wait with eager hearts and patience minds for the hope that is found in the fulfillment of our salvation by Christ Jesus.
