Sinners Parenting Sinners
Parenting is without a doubt one of the most rewarding and challenging journeys most of us will ever take on in our lives. Parenting requires nothing less than your full commitment to successfully navigate the journey of leading this tiny human through the intricate and varying stages of human development before launching into independence. There are few things we could compare parenting to; few things in life that require all of you, pouring out your love, desires, passion, energy, time and attention (and I didn’t even mention finances!). It is without a doubt a journey unlike any other, whose cost is great and reward is fulfilling. Perhaps it is because of the nature of this journey that so many of us find ourselves in a constant state of questioning and confusion: Am I doing this right? Should I have been more patient? Maybe I should have been more strict? Did I react wrong? Do my kids even like me? Here again, parenting is a journey unlike any other, but I believe that one of the most fundamental understandings we must grab hold of in order to navigate the journey well is to accept one simple truth: We are far more like our children than different.
In fairness and transparency, I’m borrowing this phrase from the great pastor, speaker and author, Paul Tripp. If you are a parent and you read only one book this year, please consider reading Paul Tripp’s book, Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family. Arguably one of the most important takeaways you would find in this wonderfully instructive, often challenging, and always encouraging read is that you and I are far more like our children than different. If this phrasing is not hitting home for you just yet, allow me a moment to expel on this idea. I want you to think about a time recently when you found yourself frustrated, agitated, maybe even angry at your child, to the degree that you found yourself saying/thinking, “What is wrong with you?”, or, “How many times have I told you!?”, or perhaps even, “Whose kid is this?!” It’s ok fellow human, we’ve all been there. We’ve all felt the rise of anger and frustration when we’ve had to repeat ourselves for the hundredth time and are no longer our most calm and peaceful self. Having said that, I want you to take a moment and examine your own heart, your own mind, your own soul…your own sin…in it’s presence before a Holy God. I wonder, when we do so, how we see ourselves in light of an almighty and perfect God, and more importantly, how He sees us?
Paul referred to himself as the “foremost” of sinners (1st Timothy 1:15 ESV). Isaiah had a vision of the throne room of God and cried out in His presence, “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips!” (Isaiah 6:5 ESV). David cried out to God to be cleansed from his great sin, noting, “For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me.” (Psalm 51 ESV). Hopefully you can see a pattern developing here. The Bible is littered with sinful men and women, crying out to God in recognition of their sin, and desperately in need of a savior. Fortunately for you and I, we have the privilege of living in a time when that savior has come to earth in flesh, lived a sinless life, fulfilled the law and every prophecy, died the death that you and I deserve, and rose again to ascend to the right hand of God. Put differently, we have our savior in Christ Jesus. The author of Hebrews encourages us with this passage:
Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens,
Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not
have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses,
but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin.
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we
may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
-Hebrews 4:14-16 ESV
The truth of the gospel is that all of us have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23 ESV). That bold proclamation in Romans is an all inclusive statement, one which would therefore then include myself, my spouse, and my children. My child and myself are both sinners in need of a savior. We are both incapable of achieving salvation, and cannot do anything to draw near to the throne of an almighty and Holy God, save for the grace of Jesus Christ that beckons to us to draw near to him with confidence. So you see, dear reader, you and I are more like our children than we are different. When our children fail over and over again and we find ourselves short of patience, we need to remember our own sin as failure to a perfect and Holy God over and over again (Romans 7:19 ESV). When our children rebel against our authority and rules, we need to recall how our sin is rebellion against a God who desires closeness with us (Luke 15:20 ESV). When our children do foolish things that leave us frustratingly agonizing over their decisions, we need to call to mind a God who died for us while we were his enemies (Romans 5:10 ESV). The truth is that in order to wisely navigate the journey of parenting, we must keep our gaze firmly fixed on truths of the gospel. It is only in this practice that we can see and understand and remember that we and our children are alike in so many ways, the most important of which is our desperate need for salvation, and inability to achieve such means on our own.
So, as you go throughout your week and as you find yourself pouring into your children, when you find yourself at the end of your wits, remember this simple truth: you are fare more like your child than different. In that reality, may you cling to the hope of the gospel and lovingly and patiently lead your child back to that place as well.
